Hmmm
rnbow
onyxheat

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    So. How do I get it set up so that I can twitter? Anyone know?

    meltdown
    rnbow
    onyxheat
    So, I pretty much went ape shit today.
    I called M all sorts of happy because I was finished with grades early. I suggested that we celebrate. He said that he would take me out to eat. I told him that I needed to put gas in the car. I came home a little later than he expected. My mom asked me to pick up some stamps. (I had forgotten to pick them up for her yesterday.) Well, he was upset with me for not calling him and telling him that I was going to stop by my mom's house. I was maybe 5-10 minutes later than can be expected. I told him that I was sorry that I didn't call. I was trying to get ready to go out. We finally made it out to the car. I don't know how many things I might have done to irk him, but he said that the evening was ruined. I just couldn't take his depression. Even though I KNOW he probably had a crap day at home. Even though I KNOW he has depression (clinical). I went screaming nucking futs. I just couldn't stop. I finally told him to just take me home. He did. He said he was going for a drive. What a way to start my summer break! I guess that I don't do very well on two hours sleep. :( I know. I know. I'm not perfect. I'm not supposed to be perfect. I do try. :) I just hope that my meltdown doesn't trigger a deeper bout with depression or another break up scene. You know I really do love him, and I think that we are good together--just not all of the time.

    Yesterday
    rnbow
    onyxheat
    After a final exam, I glanced around at the room. It seemed so sad. The chairs echoed past laughter, chatting, life, but now lay haphazardly strewn in the room. Twisted this way and that. Empty.
    I don't think that students realize how important they are to a classroom. They are part of the equation. 1+1=3. Curious Students+Educated Professor=Learning. (As you can see, I am not a math professor.) But I do think that the end product is larger than the initial. Something magical happens after the addition. Just as much as they learn from me, I learn from them. Now, another semester leaves.
    And, a new one begins.
    Such is the way of life.

    Finals
    Pretty
    onyxheat
    It is over...
    Strangely, I don't want to sleep right now...
    I am somewhat obsessed with two songs that I can't seem to find the right version of...
    "Dance Me to the End of Love" from the Strange Days soundtrack
    "Sway" from the Dark City Soundtrack
    I asked M how many phone calls he thought that I would get tomorrow from students wanting to know why they got the grade that they did... he said 7.
    I am wondering if more than that will call. This semester has been one of the worst for students withdrawing and not turning in work. I didn't fail half of a class but half of a class withdrew.
    Economy suckage.

    Paranoia, Stress, and an Empty Christmas
    rnbow
    onyxheat
    I am so sad right now. It is so hard dealing with the emotional upheaval of my parents and M. I think he did a great job today. We set up Christmas trees even though my mom was telling us not to. She wanted an empty Christmas. M said that we should set up the trees anyway. My mom started crying saying that they were too much and that she was going to take them down. She had made some sort of pact with her sisters to not celebrate this year because of all the deaths in the family. M is upset with me right now. I don't know why. I hate it when he gets like this. I was trying to get my mom calm, and he just kept pushing to set up the trees. It wasn't fun to set them up. I think that he is mad at me, and I don't even know why. I think that it was stressful to deal with my mom and then M was so resolute about everything. I feel like a bunch of yuck. I need someone to bolster me up and it just isn't happening right now. It is finals for me. The stress is coming in on so many sides. I think that I am so worn down right now because I haven't had enough sleep. He says he isn't mad at me... I feel like such a high school drama right now.

    Tired, sick, and lonely
    rnbow
    onyxheat
    I don't feel well. This stupid flu won't leave me alone. I've been sick off an on for a week. Now, I am having chills--signs of a fever. Uggh. Get healthy already.

    Things that make me uncomfortable.
    rnbow
    onyxheat
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27989275/

    Check out the picture and story.

    "The U.S. military expects to have 20,000 uniformed troops inside the United States by 2011 trained to help state and local officials respond to a nuclear terrorist attack or other domestic catastrophe, according to Pentagon officials.

    The long-planned shift in the Defense Department's role in homeland security was recently backed with funding and troop commitments after years of prodding by Congress and outside experts, defense analysts said."

    Check out this movie. Tell me what you think?
    rnbow
    onyxheat
    http://www.moviesfoundonline.com/zeitgeist_addendum.php

    Thanksgiving Odds and Ends
    rnbow
    onyxheat
    I took off early on Wednesday to start cooking for Thanksgiving. I was trying to make and prepare for two Thanksgiving meals in one day. I think that I almost injured myself, but it came out a huge success. Many times I have a problem with procrastination. I seem to find it difficult to move forward and put my all in. Well, I put my all in for Thanksgiving. It came out great! I was so exhausted after. Thank God for M. He helped so much. For my parents, I made a turkey, homemade stuffing, black beans, rice, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, ratatouille, and pumpkin pie. I was trying to find a pie pumpkin to make the pie from scratch, but I wasn't able to find one. I guess too many people rely on the canned. I ended up making the stuffing from bread that I had at home. I wasn't able to find a stuffing in the store that wasn't hydrogenated. This made me so angry that I made it up myself. Can I say huge success. M, who doesn't normally like something not covered in meat, loved the stuffing. So, did the whole family. My BF, N, said that my cooking has improved from very good to excellent. She has known me for over 20 years! For M's family, I made lamb, homemade stuffing, black beans, rice, sweet potato casserole, green been casserole, ratatouille, and pumpkin pie. So, I cooked on Wednesday for my family and prepared for M's family. On Thursday, I finished cooking for M's family. M also made a fried turkey for Thanksgiving. Since I try to avoid meat, I didn't eat any of his turkey or the lamb. I did have a slice or two of mine. (It was good.) All in all, awesome experience.
    Tags:

    Stand Together or Fall Apart
    Pretty
    onyxheat
    I was reading through various comment boards on the recently elected Obama and found an overwhelming number of people suggesting that Obama won because "whites" are the minority. I am somewhat horrified that someone thinks that "whites" are the minority. Why is this even an issue? Why is this even a thought in someone's head? What makes someone "white"? According to the census in 1999 about 71% of the US was "white" (defined as being of European descent). The 2008 report lists it as 68%--not including Hispanic Whites.
    I happen to be of European descent. I also look very "white"; however, I am classified as Hispanic. This country was originally American Indian--not "white."
    America was not a "white" dominant country originally! What does it matter whether it is now or not? European emigrants stole/bought it from various American Indian tribes and then killed off a large majority of American Indians. America was taken.
    From a rather horrific beginning, It has become a melting pot, a mixture of different nationalities—a symbol of hope to so many other people, who struggle to make it to the land of opportunity. One of the reasons that America has been so strong is that we can unite ourselves (usually in the face of an enemy.)
    Let's get over this "white" versus "black" thing. Obviously, most of America is over it, as Barak would not have won without a majority of the 68% of the population that comprises the "white" vote.
    We are currently in a time of great upheaval. It has not been helped with the current President's term of office. I am hopeful that the new President will help move America into a unified country that might be able to face the difficult times ahead. Obama has many challenges that will be heaped upon him. Let's pull together and offer him our support and thereby offer our nation our support. God knows the U. S. A. needs it. We need it.

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